Losing a pet is never easy, but these tips can help your family process the painful emotions that come with grieving.
If you ask people what brings them the most joy in life, many will point to their children or their pets. According to data from the 2021 to 2022 APPA National Pet Owners Survey, as many as 90.5 million families in the U.S. (or 70% of all U.S. households) own a dog, cat, or other form of animal companion. Pets are there to greet us when we wake up, give us unconditional love and emotional support when we’re feeling down, and snuggle up on the couch with when the day is done. Losing a beloved pet can leave a big impact on their owners. Luckily, we have some advice on coping with the loss of a pet.
Pets are often a lot more than “just” a dog or cat to their owners. To many, they’re full-fledged members of the family. When a person loses a pet they have a strong emotional bond with, they can leave behind a void that feels impossible to fill. Feelings of grief, sadness, and even frustration are all normal parts of the grieving process. Some people may even feel the loss of a beloved pet more deeply than that of a human in their lives. These feelings are valid. No two people grieve the same, and what triggers you may be easier to handle for a family member (and vice versa). The important thing is to hear everyone out and hold space for their feelings as you process the loss.
Whether your pet’s death was sudden and unexpected or the result of euthanasia, there’s no “right” way to grieve for them. The grieving process, and all the feelings it brings up, will be different for every member of your family. While some people start to feel better in a matter of weeks or months, it can take others years to fully get over the loss. Some people describe their grief as coming in “waves,” a series of recurring lows that are usually deeper and longer at the beginning and then gradually become shorter as time goes by. The level of grief a person experiences also depends on factors like their age and personality, the age of their pet, and the circumstances of their death.
The pain and sorrow that come with losing a pet don’t go away over night. While your grieving process is unique to you, there are a few things everyone can do to help themselves heal as more time passes.
Since many children have little to no experience dealing with death, the loss of a pet may be especially difficult for them. Unsure of where to direct their emotions, children may blame themselves, their parents, or the vet for not being able to save the pet. Kids experiencing grief may also feel guilt, depression, and fear for the lives of their remaining loved ones. While losing a pet is often a traumatic experience for a child, parents can use the opportunity to teach their children about death and help them develop healthy coping skills for grief and emotional pain. Try things like:
The death of a pet can also affect retired seniors more than some young adults, particularly those that don’t have large social circles or are unable to leave the house easily. Pets provide the sole source of companionship to many seniors who live alone, and caring for their pets provides many of these seniors with a sense of purpose and self-worth. In the wake of a pet’s death, seniors can feel empty, lost, and start to fear for their own impending death. To make matters worse, many seniors can’t just decide to get a new pet, as they risk the new pet outliving them and ending up without a home.
If you’re a senior pet owner, you can cope with the loss of your pet by doing things like:
When a pet loses one of their furry brothers or sisters, they can exhibit grief-like symptoms similar to those seen in humans. Surviving pets may be lethargic, depressed, whimper, and refuse to eat or drink when another pet passes on, especially if they had a close relationship with them. Even if they weren’t that close to the pet who passed on, surviving pets can still feel anxious and distressed when they notice their owners in grief.
You can help your pets through this difficult time by giving them lots of affection and playtime throughout the day, and by sticking to your normal routines when it comes to things like feeding, walks, and potty breaks. It may feel difficult to focus on being a good pet parent when you’re feeling hurt yourself, but getting back into the swing of things is one of the best ways to take your mind off the pain and start the healing process.
👉 See a vet if your pet continues to exhibit abnormal behavior for a sustained period of time following the loss of another pet, as they may be suffering from an underlying medical condition.
After some time has passed, your family may feel ready to bring home a new pet. While the new companionship may be nice for you, your kids, and your surviving pets, you shouldn’t rush into getting another pet unless you’re absolutely sure that you’re ready to take on the responsibilities that come with it. Give yourselves plenty of time to grieve, listen to your feelings, and discuss the possibility of getting a new pet together as a family. You’ll know when you’re ready — and you’ll be able to give your new pet a lot more focus, energy, and affection once you’ve taken the time to heal.
When you are finally ready to bring home a new pet, consider adopting from the local animal shelter or rescue. These facilities are filled with pets in need of new homes, and they make great additions to a loving family.
Because we love them. Pets are often our best friends, even more so than the humans in our lives. They offer constant affection, companionship, and allow us to be our truest, most comfortable selves when they’re around. If you’re retired or live alone, caring for your pet might fill your life with meaning. It’s only natural that we feel so hurt when we lose them.
While we only truly get over grief with time, there are a few things you can do to help yourself heal. Start by acknowledging your pain: write out any negative feelings you may be experiencing, and share them out loud with loved ones or a local support group. Eat healthy, high-quality foods, and get plenty of sleep and exercise. Take up a new hobby to fill your time and occupy your attention. Before long, you’ll find that these small acts of self-care make coping with your pet’s loss a lot more manageable.
Everyone grieves differently, and there’s no “right” or “normal” amount of time to grieve the loss of a pet. A small study conducted in 2019 measured the periods of “intense grief” felt by 82 people who had recently lost their pets, with 25% taking between three months to a year, 50% between one year and 19 months, and 25% between two and six years.
Crying is a perfectly normal part of the grieving process. It’s normal for humans to cry intensely and uncontrollably shortly after losing a loved one, whether it’s a human or a pet. Crying is sometimes given a negative stigma of being “weak” or emotionally vulnerable, but suppressing your feelings will only make your grief worse. Allow yourself to cry as much as you need to after losing your pet, whenever you need to.
No. Pets are euthanized with an injection that causes them to fall asleep. The heart and lungs stop functioning within a few minutes, but your pet doesn’t feel a thing since they’re unconscious.
