If you’re adopting your new cat or dog yourself, you have plenty of time to prepare and make sure you’re ready to take on the responsibility. But what about when you’re gifted a pet? Even if you’re thrilled about your new companion, you might be overwhelmed and unsure where to start.
You have some decisions to make if you’re feeling more anxious than excited. If you can’t care for the pet properly, the responsible choice is to rehome them, even though rejecting the gift may be uncomfortable.
You can decide what’s best for you and the pet. Feeling frustrated or stressed about a sudden addition to your family is normal. It doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate the thought or don’t like the pet — it’s a huge responsibility that’s tougher if you’re not expecting it. Outside factors shouldn’t pressure you into keeping a pet if you’re not ready or don’t want to.
It’s easy to feel uncertain about whether you’re ready to adopt a pet, especially if you’re a first-time pet owner. There are a few questions you should ask yourself before making the decision.
Getting a pet is like getting another family member. Their belongings take up space in your home, too. Do you have enough room for the full-grown pet and their items, such as a crate, litter box, bedding, toys, and grooming supplies?
While cats can be comfortable with less activity and more alone time, dogs require daily exercise and outdoor time — some breeds more than others. Time for cuddles and affection is also important.
Research by betterpet shows that the average cost of adopting a dog and preparing a home is about $750. Then, pet owners can expect to pay between $150 and $300 per month for their dog. Don’t forget — puppies and kittens cost a lot more initially since they need several vet visits, vaccines, and more!
Some pets won’t do well with small children or other pets. However, sometimes they just need some time to get used to their new environment. Read our full guide to getting a new pet when you have children.
Make sure you feel comfortable sharing the responsibility and have clear expectations of who does what. If your partner doesn’t want the pet, you’ll have to decide together what to do next.
Some dog and cat breeds have special care requirements that can involve more time or money. For example, Afghan Hounds are prone to matting and require more grooming than some other breeds. Sphynx cats need special attention due to their nearly bare skin, and both brachycephalic dogs and cats may require special medical care.
Whether gifted a young or adult pet, you need to establish some routines to ensure they’re happy and healthy in your care. There are a lot of responsibilities that come with a new pet, but you can start with the most important. Preparing for a new puppy or kitten might be overwhelming, so we’ve gathered some of the first things you should do to get started.
First, make sure that harmful substances are out of reach. Young pets tend to explore the world through smell and taste, so try to remove anything they might ingest or chew on. These include cleaning products, electric cords or wires, human food and medication, trash, shoes, and small items they could swallow.
Instead of rearranging your entire home, starting with closing doors or putting up baby gates can help contain their exploring area in one room. Ideally, consider one without carpet for easier cleaning. You can start to introduce them to other areas of the house as you pet-proof them.
For dogs that aren’t potty trained, keeping them near a door to outside can help them learn as soon as possible. In the meantime, keep fresh pee pads in their living area. It’s also a good idea to have stain and odor remover on hand for accidents.
👉 Learn more about cleaning up pet urine and dog poop effectively.
You don’t have to rush out and spend several hundred dollars on supplies right away. You’ll need a few things to care for a pet, and you can buy other necessities as you go. Grabbing these supplies helps ensure your new cat or dog has the essentials:
As you might have guessed, food/water, and shelter are key. Check out our guide to feeding your new puppy for tips on how much and how often to feed your dog. If you’ve received a kitten, you might be interested in our articles on cat food + nutrition.
After your pet has settled in for a few days, you can start to think about purchasing treats, toys, grooming supplies, or other accessories. Remember, your new pet might be anxious about their new surroundings. Try to keep things calm and consistent for about a week before changing things up too much. A routine can help your new pet settle into life with you better.
Having a new pet come into the home can be stressful for them, so it is important that they are not overstimulated. For the first couple of weeks, their environment should be calm, and consistent to allow for an easy transition as possible.
Dr. Dwight Alleyne
The first few days in a new environment are a huge learning opportunity for your new pet. It’s helpful to decide ahead of time what furniture they’re allowed on and where they can go in your house. As they explore, they’ll likely get into a few things they shouldn’t. Consistently giving a firm “no” when they do something undesirable can help establish boundaries. Remember to use their name often, too. You may find dog training 101 and a complete guide on cat training helpful, too.
Puppies and kittens need their first vaccinations at six to eight weeks. Even if your new pet has already had their first round of shots, they will still need booster vaccines every three to four weeks until they reach four to five months old. Plus, you’ll have spaying or neutering to think about. That’s why it’s important that you get your new pet to the vet ASAP.
👉 Read more about puppy/kitten vaccines and vet visits:
Even if you adopt an older pet, it’s a good idea to take them in for a full exam. A veterinarian can let you know if they have existing conditions, recommend preventative medication, and help you decide whether you’d like to microchip your pet (hint: you definitely should).
Potty training for puppies often takes about six months, and it’s best if you start building habits early on. With a puppy, you can start with crate training, which is one tried and true method of potty training.
For kittens, your litter training battle will likely be easier and shorter than puppy potty training. The first step is picking out a litter box. You might be surprised by how functional some litter boxes are — many of our favorite cat litter boxes double as furniture, which can save a lot of space in a small apartment.
Even if you’re sure you can afford a new pet, it’s a good idea to sit down and do the math so that you know exactly how much you’ll be spending each month. Here are a few things you should take into consideration:
👉 Read our full breakdown of the costs of owning dogs and our guide on cat ownership cost.
Sharing your new pet with your significant other can lighten your responsibility load, but there is some upfront planning you’ll need to do to make sure your pet lives a happy and healthy life. You’ll also need to form a plan for if things don’t work out.
Many pets will be happy to hop from home to home if you don’t live together, but some won’t. If you sense shared custody may be stressing your dog, you may have to reevaluate the plan.
The most important thing is to get on the same page with your partner. It’s best to establish the same rules and treatment in both houses. For example, if your dog is allowed on furniture at one home, it may be harder for them to remember to stay off the furniture at the other.
If you decide you aren’t ready to care for the pet you’ve received, that’s okay. Good for you for being honest with yourself. The hard part, however, is being honest with your significant other or whoever has gifted you the pet.
👉 The truth is that pets should never be surprise gifts.
If you’re feeling guilty or struggling to find the right way to tell them, remember that you’re making the responsible choice. Whether you don’t have the time, money, space, or desire, just be honest about why you can’t care for the pet. Explaining why you can’t give the pet a good life will help the gift giver understand that it’s not about them. And ultimately, hurt feelings are temporary — taking on a pet you’re not ready for can have a lasting, negative impact on everyone.
Once you break the news, you can start trying to rehome your pet. One of the best ways is to advertise to family and friends. That way, you can feel confident that the pet will live a good life, and you can even check in from time to time. Writing a bio for your pet and explaining honestly why you can’t care for them is a good idea. You can post this on social media and ask your friends to share. You can even use your local shelter’s social media by asking them to share your post. Not only that, but you can also try asking your veterinarian for help spreading the word.
🚨 Remember to always check out potential adopters carefully. Sometimes, people seeking to adopt don’t have the best intentions. Use your best judgment!
Surrendering your pet to a shelter is generally a last resort. Many no-kill shelters allow you to submit a request for surrender, after which they will evaluate the pet and potentially take it in. Some charge a fee for surrenders to help cover the cost of food and housing.
If you receive a pet as a gift, remember that you are not obligated to keep it. Evaluate if you’re ready for the responsibilities of pet ownership. If you decide you cannot provide a good home, consider rehoming the pet or contacting local rescues for assistance. However, if you choose to keep the pet, gather the necessary supplies and do thorough research to ensure a happy and healthy life together.
Sometimes, giving up a pet is the best thing for both you and them. Coping with the loss may take some time, but remembering you did the best thing for them can help. You can contact rescues, shelters, and even your vet to help you spread the word to rehome your pet.
First, stop and ask yourself if you are willing and able to commit to this pet for the rest of their life. If not, consider rehoming. If so, prepare yourself by gathering the essentials like food, bowls, and bedding, and take the time to learn the best way to take care of your new companion.
Absolutely not. Taking on a pet when you’re well-prepared can be a challenge. An unexpectedly gifted pet presents even more problems. If you can’t/won’t commit to a new pet, refusing them is the best option. Make sure the person giving the gift understands why you can’t provide a good home for the pet right now.
If you don’t want the dog or can’t care for it, giving it back can be a good option. However, if the person who gifted you a pet wants them back, you don’t have to do that either unless you want to.
Generally, gifting a pet to someone isn’t a great idea unless they are in a position to take care of it. An unexpectedly gifted pet may cause the person stress and put the pet at risk for neglect. Talk to the person about getting a new pet before considering gifting them one. If they are interested, consider paying the adoption fee or going with them to a local rescue to find a pet that they really vibe with!
